I had a bad week this week. So of course I avoided my blog once again. I get into avoidance/denial mode and this blog has become intertwined with my illness. So when I'm trying to deny my reality of CFS I avoid my blog. Hence no posts even when I have lots to say....
I've been very grumpy this week. For lots of reasons. I did too much last weekend and crashed. I had a tilt table test where I almost passed out which made me crash. My husband was gone all week due to work. Until tonight no one has visited for a long while. I can't seem to convince anyone to drive me to places I would really like to go. When my kid was finally available it turned out that hubby had driven to work with my wheelchair in his trunk. I'm just getting frustrated at not being able to do stuff or go places. I'm annoyed that I have to beg family members to drive me places and if I hint at trips to friends they are too busy to go. I'm tired of being stuck in the house. I only get to go out for groceries and doctor appointments. No fun things. It also ticked me off that I spent the better part of two days lying in bed. I was listening to my audio book which was fun but I didn't get the miraculous recovery I was hoping for. I still felt like crap today and now I'm also sick of lying down. Because I'm grumpy I cheated on my diet and made my body feel extra crappy. So blah...
I'm grumpy and in a pissy mood. Hopefully I'll have the tilt table test results in a few days and I can write about that. In the meantime I've ordered the GAPS diet book, purchased some grass fed cow's milk (yum!) and am settling in to watch Star Trek Enterprise series.
As an aside I do recommend Discovery of Witches but get the print edition if you can read books. The audio version keeps knocking me out cold. Something about her voice....
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