Thursday, December 4, 2014

It is NOT about the knife!

Why do arguments with your spouse get so weird?  It is almost like you are talking in two different languages.  You're using the same words but they have completely different meanings.

For instance....

Hubs put my good knives in the dishwasher.  I paid over $100 for each of them since they are my tools that I use daily.  One of them had a really nice wooden handle and was a Christmas present from my son.  This isn't the first time I've asked him not to do this.  In fact, I've lost count on how many times I've asked him.  This time though was different.  I lost my cool.  I started slamming doors.

Of course he came to find out what was wrong.  He couldn't fathom why I was angry.  "What did I do?  At least tell me what I did wrong?"
"You put my knives in the dishwasher."
"I know."
"You can't even say sorry can you?"
"I'm sorry I made you mad."  Luckily it was dark so he didn't see me roll my eyes.

"It is a knife.  So what?  You shouldn't be this angry over a stupid knife."
"It isn't about the knife.  It is about the fact that I ask you something, repeatedly ask you something, and you ignore my words and do it anyway."
"I don't care.  It is just a knife."
"That.  Right there.  That.  'I don't care.'  That is the problem.  You don't care.  You don't care what I say.  You don't care about my stuff.   These are my tools; my very expensive tools that I use everyday and you don't care.  More importantly you choose to ignore me, ignore my words."
"I don't understand."
"Then I can't help you.  I can't explain this any more clearly than that."
"It is just a stupid knife."


  1. We regularly have this exact same argument. My husband cannot comprehend the reason knives should not be put in the dishwasher! I share your frustration =)

  2. It's a respect thing more than anything else, not only respect of the property (that it costs money and therefore requires a certain care) but respect of each other in how we handle those situations.