Thursday, September 9, 2010

What Is Wrong With Me?

I stopped eating wheat about five years ago. I've adjusted pretty well. I cheat here and there but they are usually small bites unless it involves chocolate cake. I'm not celiac so I don't have serious health problems if I cheat just severe brain fog and cramping. I know TMI. Anyway, I have never ever eaten American sausage. Hate the stuff. It is icky. I'm also not crazy about peppers. Haven't liked them for 20 years or so. So what happened to me? I've been craving food all day, which in itself is weird. This illness has curbed my appetite not made it worse, but today I just wanted to eat constantly. I ate all of my GF cookies, half a bag of Dove chocolate, my regular meals, corn cakes (similar to rice cakes) and I've probably forgotten a few things. I'm still hungry. Why oh why did husband choose tonight to leave his left over pizza on the table? It smelled so good. It has been calling to me since dinner. I kept hearing its siren song "I taste yummy. You miss eating pizza. Don't resist me. I taste wonderful. You love pizza." Oh I do. I DO. I so miss eating pizza. Real pizza. Not that rice crust crap they claim is pizza. The thick crispy crust with the soft doughy insides. The melted cheese. The tomato sauce burning the roof of my mouth. I lasted until 2am. I was SO hungry. I had to close the kitchen windows before going to bed and there it was smelling like mana from heaven. I couldn't resist its siren song any longer. I told myself it would only be one bite. One tiny bite. After all it had everything on it including sausage and peppers and I hate those. But I took one bite and I was lost. I took another and then another. It rapidly disappeared from my hand before I could talk myself out of this folly. When I was done I looked over at the table and the last piece still called to me from the pizza box but I fled the kitchen before I succumbed. I can't do it. I'll pay for this tomorrow. But OMG it tasted so GOOD. Despite the sausage and the peppers. Real pizza. Ohhhhhhh....... This is not good.

No comments:

Post a Comment