The Straw

This last piece of news was just too much.  I'm descending into a huge huge sad.  I won't know if it is going to hang around and officially become depression.  I'll have to wait and see on that front but right now I just keep breaking out into tears.

I watched the Texas senate live the other night.  I witnessed senators quoting the bible as THE argument for why this bill should be made into law in the United States of America: a country that was founded squarely on the separation of church and state in order to avoid things like this; one religion becoming the law of the land resulting in one person's beliefs being forced upon another of a different faith.  I witnessed the senators shut down the session and open it up again (before midnight) claiming that it was the next day so that they could legally vote to pass the bill to severely restrict women's access to a safe medical procedure.  Before the vote they prayed for God's guidance.  Afterwards, I witnessed one of the sit down protesters get picked up and body slammed into the marble floor so hard that it knocked him out cold.  He came too not being able to feel his hands and feet with his head in a pool of his own blood.  He was released from the hospital with a concussion the following day.  I shake my head and wonder what this world is coming too.

The following day I hear that Zimmerman was acquitted of all charges.  I wasn't at the trial.  I didn't see the evidence.  I don't understand the law involved.  However, this still doesn't seem right.  To me this seems like an uneven handed metering of a law that shouldn't be on the books anyway.  Stand Your Ground was written up and pushed by ALEC and spread via the republican party with the full backing of the NRA.  How could this not result in violence?  How could this not result in racial tension?  What can we possibly do to change this?

Then shit got personal.
My son had a headache and neckache since Wednesday.  He thought his neck was out of alignment so came with me to my awesome chiropractor for an adjustment on Thursday.  Friday he woke up with a splitting headache and thought it was from the adjustment but now a fever had kicked in.   I let him sleep in Saturday thinking that he just needed some rest and he would be fine.  After he did get up he offered to take me to the farmers market per usual but he was still having headache neckache problems but now he was having dizzy spells as well.  Thing is he isn't a complainer so he behaves normally.  When we finally got home we both took naps.  Neither of us felt like cooking so we went out.  He was constantly playing with his neck trying to stretch it.  His fever was back.

About an hour after hubs went to bed my son came down from his room and told me that he needed to go to the hospital.  When he says this. it is SERIOUS.  He never ever ever complains.  He has been like this since he was a baby.  So he calls his doc to get permission to head into the ER, while I get hubs up to drive him over.   Meanwhile I had no idea that kid had begun to feel woozy.  Like he had had several drinks when he hadn't had any alcohol in days. Inn the meantime hubs starts throwing a grand mal hissy fit in the middle of the living room.  Why is it HE has to deal with this?  Why is it always HIS responsibility to pick up the pieces?  It got the point where kid just yelled "FINE.  I'll f^ing drive myself to the hospital!!" Then went back to trying to talk to the doc on the phone.  Hubs quiets down and drives kid over there and they start testing him for meningitis.  This involved blood draw, CT scan and a lumbar puncture.  In the middle of this, he starts texting me so that I know what is going on.  After four hours there, the doc decide that he has erlichiosis from a Lone Star tick bite he got three weeks ago during an airsoft game in a farmer's field.  The doc said it was very good that he got into the ER when he did or his kidneys would have shut down from the infection.  They pumped him full of antibiotics, saline and pain meds and sent him home with a scrip for doxycycline.

Now I'm on my freak bus.  Every time he comes down with a virus I get scared he will get CFS like me. It hit me out of the blue.  It tends to run in families.  Erlichiosis can linger in the body.  This tick can also transmit Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever which is a known CFS trigger.  So I'm worried.  I'll continue to worry until his is well and back to his old self.

The Straw
While all of the above has affected my mood greatly, I didn't start my decent into the deep deep black well of sadness until today.  Today I found out that a friend of mine from college is dying from cancer.  She lives in Puerto Rico so I haven't seen her since the year that I got sick with CFS.  I attended my class reunion during the infancy of my illness.  We marched in the alum parade together.  She invited me to visit her in PR when I got well enough to travel.  She hosted a reunion earlier this year for my class to celebrate all of us turning 50.  I heard it was a blast.  Now her family is traveling down there to be with her for what is probably her last days.

This is just too much.  I am so sad.  She is a wonderful wonderful woman.  I was so looking forward to traveling there to visit with her.  I miss her posting pictures of her painted toe nails in various settings.  It became a running gag.  She would paint them a wild color and then when she posted about a trip somewhere she would post a pic of her brilliantly painted toes enjoying the trip.  She is just a lovely person.  And I am very very sad.