Sunday, August 14, 2011

The In Between

I always seem to find myself stuck in the In Between.  It is the space between events where time slows to a stop and it seems like it will never move forward again.

I woke up this morning and it is In Between sun and rain.  I can feel it in my joints.  It is no longer going to be sunny for at least one day if not several.  My back aches and I'm lathargic and slightly depressed.  All I want to do is lie in bed but the pain finally forces me to get up.  I can no longer tolerate lying in my super squishy bed.

I'm at home by myself.  Waiting.  It is In Between my son living here and moving out.  He is off in his new used car loving his new found freedom.  He is supposed to move his things out tomorrow but he hasn't even packed yet.

I am also In Between my husband being home from work and going back to work.  He has gone to a car show in Connecticut and I find myself at home alone.  He is coming back early because of the rain.  Apparently it is already falling there.

My depression lifts slightly after breakfast.  Some of it must have been due to low blood sugar.  However some of it remains.  I am In Between lives.  I can no longer work and skate but I haven't... no, I can't admit I'm going to be sick for a long time.

I'm bored and don't know what to do with myself. I'm In Between projects.  For the last six months I've been trying to prove to the insurance company that I'm sick.  With that accomplished I haven't discovered my next project yet.  It should be trying to get well but I feel somewhat hopeless on that front.  I want to cook all of my own food from scratch from organically raised free range animals.  I can't even drive myself to a market let alone get out to a farm so that I can get super fresh food.  I am managing to cook a little bit more often so that is good news.

Apparently I still can't travel easily so I'm In Between visits.  I'm waiting until someone can find the time and inclination to visit.  My family has already been here this past June so they won't be back for a while.  My friends are all busy running around with their own lives.  So I'm going to be on my own for a while.  I'm really going to miss my kid.

Today is an In Between day: in between weather, in between visits, in between moving, in between projects.  I'm bored, in pain and a little bit cranky.  But, who could blame me?


  1. It sure is not fun being sore and house bound. I watch our dd with CFS/ME daily. I'm greatful we can care for her. If I lived closer I'd pop in with some fresh farm eggs & whip you up an omelette.

    sending you lots of love

  2. In Between is one of my least favorites as well, even though it's often where the impetus comes from for the next new interest or adventure. And boredom, without question, is the very worst thing about being sick, even worse than pain or the rest of it. (I usually escape from that one by developing a crush on the handsome, troubled main character in some mystery novel or other and then "re-writing" the book in my head with me as the love interest, but that's neither here nor there.) Hope things have improved a bit since then.

  3. LOL Stacey. I swear we should be best friends. I too rewrite books in my head. I've had quite the love affair with Mr. Darcy. I'm bummed I can't read anymore although I've just managed to listen to Water for Elephants which was wonderful. Of course I was imagining the main character as Robert Patterson rather than the red head in the book.