Saturday, February 5, 2011

Bad News Today

When I got up I thought I might be in for a good day.  My migraine had passed and it was a sunny day.  I was fogged and had the usual migraine hangover (I'm never sure if this is from the headache or all the meds I take trying to ward it off) plus I am detoxing from the Cymbalta so I wasn't in peak physical/mental form.  But I did have hope. 

Then things started going wrong.  First I broke the lid to my favorite blue teapot which I've used every morning to make my tea since I bought it a year ago.  I love that thing.  Then the endo doc office called to move my appointment.  Turns out my doc's son is in the hospital and it is serious so she is going to be out of the office for at least another week if not longer.  My follow up appointment is now in mid March. 

This news resulted in a cascade of thoughts and feelings.  I'm worried about her son and concerned for her.  I'm also scared that I'm not going to get a diagnosis in time for the LTD appeal.  I think if it were just me trying to feel better I wouldn't be so upset about it but I have to win this legal case or I'm financially screwed.  I was also looking forward to working with her, getting this team of doctors together to figure this out and get all the testing done.  I would like a diagnosis for heaven's sake.  It's been ten months now since I got sick and no one is willing to say that I have CFS.  I am so frustrated.  I want this to move forward.  I don't want to wait anymore.

Last night while surfing the net I discovered that Dr. Nancy Klimas, one of the leading CFS docs, has opened a CFS clinic in Miami FL.  I want to go there.  I'm scared that traveling will make me sicker but I want to talk to a doc that knows this illness cold and isn't just guessing.  I have a friend that lives near there so  I would have lodging while going to the clinic.  I would have to pay out of pocket for the visit but right now I've got the money to do this.  I was going to wait until my follow up apt with my endo doc to make a decision regarding the clinic but that is now six weeks away.  I only have until May to get the appeal filed.  Ugh.  I just don't know what to do.

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