Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Dear Mr. Sleep Dentist,

Dear Mr. Sleep Dentist,

You do great work.  I love the dental appliance you have made for me so that I can sleep without snoring.  I've been seeing you for four years now and am about to get my third appliance since I refuse to sleep without it. 

Before I see you I very carefully floss, brush my teeth and eat peppermints so that my mouth is clean and smells great before you have to work in there. 

Please please please could you at least eat a mint before working on me?  Honestly!  Your breath smells like dog crap.  I'm not kidding.  It is seriously nasty.  You apparently like really strong coffee and it makes your breath really stink and then you don't wear a mask while working on me.  Your stinky breath oozes right into my face.

I love you to bits and you do great work but OMG your breath could peel paint off the wall.  As a service to your customers please go to Costco and get a large tin of mints.  PLEASE!!  I'm begging you!

Your Patient


  1. Ask him to wear a mask. He should be wearing one for both your sake's, to prevent disease transmission.

  2. Good idea. I think I'll start carrying some in my pocketbook. Since I'm immune compromised and my masseuse tends to breath all over me as well I'll just hand them a mask.