Then I managed to drive home! AND cook dinner! Holy cow! I'm tired now and will probably go to bed early but that is okay. I did awesome today! I felt normal today. I don't feel normal now. I feel like my crappy CFS self but this afternoon for a short while I felt normal. Not the sickie. And it is scaring the crap out of me.
So here were a few thoughts driving home from my party fun time afternoon:
- I was just getting used to being sick.
- I was just getting the hang of the flow of the day based on severe fatigue levels.
- Now I seem to be rapidly getting better.
- Right this second I feel normal. Like a real normal human being.
- I feel like I did before I got sick. Clear head. Driving around on a sunny afternoon. Talking with my mom while driving! Multitasking!!
- Crap when will I be expected to work again?
- How will I know when it is time to try?
- Will I be forced back before I can handle it?
- When will the insurance company start interfering with my life again?
- Are they going to tail me on one of my shopping jaunts?
- What will happen to my having the time to cook real food (time consuming)?
- Will I be too exhausted from working to do anything else in my life?
- When can I start skating again?
- Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!
My life, too be continued....
BTW, I purchased a book entitled "Nature Walks in Southern New Hampshire" in anticipation of my impending good health. Something to look forward to.
BTW, I purchased a book entitled "Nature Walks in Southern New Hampshire" in anticipation of my impending good health. Something to look forward to.
Great news you had a good day, long may it continue
ReplyDeleteLove Leanne
Baffled, I'm soooo glad you're beginning to have some good days again! The glutathione IV's and diet really seem to be doing great things for you. I'm just leaping in here with some mildly panicked and totally unsolicited advice, so feel free to ignore it altogether.
ReplyDeleteMy own experience is that CFS can go into remission, which is awesome. It's far too easy, though, to overdo it and bring the symptoms back on again. So now more than ever is the time to pace yourself carefully! Do all you can and live it up, but also budget in rest times, and make sure not to slack on your diet or any of those other good things. I find that treating myself as if I'm on day 7 of the flu--really feeling better and back to normal-ish, but still aware of the need to be extra-kind and gentle to myself--helps prolong those times.
I hope the word "remission" doesn't sound discouraging--that's not my intention at all. By all means, make those plans and ask those questions and do all the activities you can. But also pause after an activity to meditate and rest and destress, and take a few minutes off every hour or so to lie down, etc. You can keep improving and make it last, but a lot of us shoot ourselves in the foot by forgetting to treat ourselves extra extra well.
Keep getting better!!!
Relapsing is also on my "be afraid" list. I wonder if the improvement is real and if it will last. Another part of the recovery being scary. I think that one minute and then start planning out my 2012 herb garden the next.
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