In order to live our lives as reasonably happy human being we have to put a certain amount of trust in others. Trust in our parents to provide a safe and healthy environment for us to grow up in. Trust in our family to support us in our endeavors. Trust in our spouse love and support us through difficult times. Trust in our workplace that our bosses and coworkers will support us and listen to us. Trust that our doctors will heal us. Trust that the insurance you paid for for years will provide the benefits that are listed in the shiny sales brochure. Trust that if we treat our bodies well they will last until at least 60 before starting to crap out.
But how do you overcome the betrayal when these things don't come true? How do you overcome growing up in an alcoholic household? How do you overcome an abusive relationship whether that is a parent, sibling, spouse, co-worker, boss, doctor or even our own bodies? How do you not spiral down the rabbit hole of self pity, self loathing and despair?
These are a few of the questions that have been rolling around in my head today. I don't have any answers yet. I'm guessing that I'm going to have to find other things to trust whether that is Buddhism or a Paleo Diet or something else entirely this remains to be seen.
BTW, trust and betrayal was at the core of my nuclear meltdown last week. My brain has fused all of these independent events together into one hateful hurtful mass. Hopefully I'm starting to exorcise my demons.