Nuclear Meltdown

This blog is not a happy blog.  It is a real blog.  It is the documentation of my illness.  Some days I wish it were a happy blog.  One that would inspire people but some days just suck.  This illness sucks.

Over these last three days I had a major meltdown.  I know the trigger.  I can map out events both physical and mental.  However, it still defies explanation of sorts.  It was such an over reaction to a minor event.  Husband made an off hand comment and three days later I find myself in bed completely limp and unable to open my eyes due to lack of energy.  It wasn't a simple crying jag and then I felt better.  This was a hard core full blown melt down.

Since I decided to ride the wave of bad energy instead of fight it, I'm now on the other side of it.  I feel better.  I physically have more energy.  I'm happy.  I'm in a good mood.  I'm looking forward to tomorrow.   I'm bored, which I always take as a sign of doing better (I'm never bored when I'm at my worst, I'm too busy being sick).  

For me, it seemed more like a purge of bad energy.  I've finally battled some of my old demons and won.  I'm ready to take on this illness and the world again.  Maybe this is part of the decent into Hades.  Part of the rebirth of the Phoenix.  Part of the recovery.  Maybe parts of me have to go up in flames before health and balance can be restored.  While I'm glad I'm doing better, I'm hoping future purges aren't nearly as dramatic.