Wednesday, October 6, 2010

You Know You Are Chronically Ill When...

  • You have menus from at least ten different restaurants that will deliver to your house
  • You take more pills than your grandma
  • Your cat is angry at you for always taking the good spot on the couch
  • You sleep regularly in at least two different spots in your house and one of them is not a bed
  • Your infectious disease specialist is on speed dial
  • You're on a first name basis with your primary doctor and chat with him/her regularly via email
  • Your medical file is thicker than War and Peace
  • Your pharmacist knows where you live (yes, mine makes deliveries)
  • You not only know what the Krebs cycle is but which supplements will affect the various stages of it
  • You fit the diagnostic criteria for both insomnia and narcolepsy
  • You know lots of CFS jokes but can't remember them
  • You show up to appointments either days early or days late at least once a month
  • Your spot on the couch is surrounded by dirty dishes, dirty socks, granola bars, piles of books, a cordless phone/cellphone and every remote that you could possibly need
  • Your husband hooks your TV up to the internet and gets you a wireless keyboard and mouse so you can surf the web from the couch
  • You own your own shower stool
  • You no longer know what day of the week it is nor care
  • You no longer use a watch or an alarm clock
  • You free range sleep (sleep anytime anywhere)
  • You dearly wish they had cots in the waiting rooms of medical facilities
  • You have to bring your own reading material to your doctors office because you have already read all of his magazines and next months issues haven't arrived yet
  • All of your body hair has grown back in
  • You start wearing your gym clothes to bed because all of your jammies are dirty and hey you need to put the gym clothes to good use
  • All of your clothes are sorted into two piles on the floor of the bedroom; the clean pile and the dirty pile
  • All of the clothes you wear look like you've slept in them and you probably have
  • You haven't gone shoe shopping for over a year because you still haven't broken in the last pair you bought
  • You've killed off at least 60% of your houseplants
  • Dust bunnies do the tumbleweed thing across the floor every time there is a strong breeze in the room
  • You will be doing this year's Christmas shopping exclusively via the internet and catalogs

1 comment:

  1. You have covered the waterfront this post, Sunshine. I especially like having to fight the cat for the better end of the couch. Hang tough until they can figure out what's got you by those recently regrown short hairs; mine are all grown in too, ain't it lovely? !~!