You Know You Are Chronically Ill When...

• You have menus from at least ten different restaurants that will deliver to your house
• You take more pills than your grandma
• Your cat is angry at you for always taking the good spot on the couch
• You sleep regularly in at least two different spots in your house and one of them is not a bed
• Your infectious disease specialist is on speed dial
• You're on a first name basis with your primary doctor and chat with him/her regularly via email
• Your medical file is thicker than War and Peace
• Your pharmacist knows where you live (yes, mine makes deliveries)
• You not only know what the Krebs cycle is but which supplements will affect the various stages of it
• You fit the diagnostic criteria for both insomnia and narcolepsy
• You know lots of CFS jokes but can't remember them
• You show up to appointments either days early or days late at least once a month
• Your spot on the couch is surrounded by dirty dishes, dirty socks, granola bars, piles of books, a cordless phone/cellphone and every remote that you could possibly need
• Your husband hooks your TV up to the internet and gets you a wireless keyboard and mouse so you can surf the web from the couch
• You own your own shower stool
• You no longer know what day of the week it is nor care
• You no longer use a watch or an alarm clock
• You free range sleep (sleep anytime anywhere)
• You dearly wish they had cots in the waiting rooms of medical facilities
• You have to bring your own reading material to your doctors office because you have already read all of his magazines and next months issues haven't arrived yet
• All of your body hair has grown back in
• You start wearing your gym clothes to bed because all of your jammies are dirty and hey you need to put the gym clothes to good use
• All of your clothes are sorted into two piles on the floor of the bedroom; the clean pile and the dirty pile
• All of the clothes you wear look like you've slept in them and you probably have
• You haven't gone shoe shopping for over a year because you still haven't broken in the last pair you bought
• You've killed off at least 60% of your houseplants
• Dust bunnies do the tumbleweed thing across the floor every time there is a strong breeze in the room
• You will be doing this year's Christmas shopping exclusively via the internet and catalogs