Friday, August 27, 2010

The Substitute Wife

There is an important wedding coming up. Both I and my husband have known the groom and bride for many years and are even friendly with the groom's parents. We both want to go but it is a two hour drive away. We need to come to a decision regarding the wedding which of course I can't really do until the day of. I have no idea if I'll be okay or stuck in bed. So here is what my husband of twenty years just proposed to me:

He: "What if I took someone else?"
Me: "Girl or guy?"
He: "Girl."
Me: "No. You're not taking a substitute wife."
He, appalled: "She wouldn't be a substitute just someone I know that I can sit with at dinner and talk with. I really want to go to this wedding."
Me equally appalled: "That is a substitute wife."
He: "I won't be kissing her or anything like that."
Me: "Doesn't matter. Taking a girl to a wedding to keep you company is what a wife does. Therefore you are taking a substitute wife."

It kept going on from there. Why do guys not get this? I am barely tolerating him going out and doing stuff without me as it is. I don't mind when he goes out with the guys. I can deal when he goes away for the weekend. But I draw the line at taking a lady friend to a wedding. It just isn't right. Weddings are such a couples thing. This whole episode worries me. Is he going to start looking for a substitute wife for real? He keeps telling me that I'm broken and he has never been one to sit around the house much. He misses my company. I often wonder how long he will tolerate me now that I'm broken. One of his friends divorced his wife after she became chronically ill and I'm scared that will happen to me. I think he might stay. He is very serious about wedding vows and doesn't take them lightly so he might stick around. But this whole substitute wife thing scares me.


  1. Wow. I admit I would be freaked out too. The only "substitute wife" I would agree to would be a sister or daughter. Why won't he just go by himself....he would probably have a great time. We have pretty much given up on weddings and kids birthday parties etc because I never know how I will feel. My Hubby has gone alone to a few things and that's fine with both of us. Hope you can work this out.

  2. I would have no trouble with his going on his own. I even asked who he would take and he told me that he didn't know yet. I would hope that it would be a short list and I would at least know their names if not them personally. Just too weird.