Today I'm Cranky

It was probably the neighbor's dog waking me up yet again that started me off. But I'm cranky today and here is my list of reasons:

1) neighbor's dog barking incessantly
2) pain in the right side of my jaw has spread to the left: when it is at its height I physically can not close my jaw. it gets stuck
3) if the pain in my jaw gets worse I'll be unable to chew food at all
4) the nerve tingling and numbness in the right side of my face is spreading; I am constantly scratching my nose, lips and chin and my right eye feels funny
5) the ringing in my ears is getting worse and has spread to my left ear
6) I've been couch bound for the last three days
7) my hands are too shaky to paint
8) I've only managed one shower in three days
9) I haven't been out of the house since last Thursday
10) my heartburn is getting worse to the point where I avoid eating or drinking
11) I hate my CPAP machine. I feel like it is trying to suffocate me.
12) I want to go on vacation somewhere next to the ocean
13) I want to go ice skating
14) I stink and I need a hair cut; I look like my grandmother on my dad's side (she always wore a very masculine cut).
14) my nails need cutting
15) my legs need a shave
16) I'm going to have to purchase chubby pants. Although I've lost scale weight I've lost all of my muscle mass and gained enough fat that my old pants don't fit anymore.
17) My body has lost its ability to regulate its temperature. I switch between sweating out my clothes to being cold and back again regardless of the ambient temperature.
18) I am now deconditioned enough that my muscles can no longer hold my vertebrae in place, which means I wake up in pain every morning and the simple act of sneezing causes severe back pain.
19) I can't exercise to recondition my muscles without crashing for days afterwards. (I am currently in the middle of a crash from my little pool experiment last Friday)

Reasons I should be thankful
1) I'm still somewhat mobile
2) I can still make myself a bowl of cereal and a pot of tea and occasionally an egg and toast.
3) I love watching movies
4) My mom understands
5) My friend in FL understands
6) My cats adore the fact that I can stay home with them now
7) I can still find positions to sit in where I don't feel any pain
8) Peppermint makes my heartburn go away (note to self: I need to buy peppermint)
9) My foot is well enough that I can now shower in my own bathroom instead of using the dinky shower stall in my husband's bathroom.
10) I am covered by an excellent sick leave policy, still have a job if I ever get better, and still have health insurance.
11) I am trying to learn from this experience. It is my dark night of the soul.
12) I get to read Jane Austin over and over.
13) my husband is beginning to understand
14) my sprained ankle is recovering remarkably well: I'm off crutches and only need my boot when I go out of the house
15) I have the Internet, Facebook, blogsphere and Netflix

What more could a girl ask for??