What is Wrong With This Picture?

I get tired easily. Really easily. Like nausea, dizzy, shaky, almost pass out tired. I'm housebound cuz of it.

So yesterday I had a chiro appointment and my kid offered to drive me there. Yeah kid! Hubby is home painting the house. Once he gets going on something he hates stopping for anything. On the way to the doctor my kid gets a message on his cell, "pick up paint from Home Depot, 3 cans, see John, call when on way". Ok. This shouldn't be too bad: stop at pharmacy and get some girl supplies, stop at Depot and pick up three cans of already mixed paint.

I get my adjustment. My kid gets his adjustment (so much for the altruism: he needed an adjustment: boo). We go out to the car and I call hubby. He asks me to stop in the grocery store to purchase dinner after the stop at the Depot for the paint. Ugh. This is getting long but still doable. Quick trip in the Depot and quick trip in the market. Off we go.

On the way to the Depot we run out of gas. Great. We stop in a gas station and kid fills it up. Due to the heavy traffic volume and the fact the kid is still learning how to drive we have to head about a half a mile in the wrong direction, find a place to turn around and then head to the Depot again. We finally get there and there is a line. The lady at the counter is having a huge debate with the one and only guy behind the counter regarding paint color. Great. I park myself and the carriage next to the counter to hold my place in line. There is no where to sit. Bugger. The first lady leaves and the second lady wants a simple quart of paint and has her paint chip in hand. No problem. He turns to me and I tell him I'm here to pick up three cans of premixed paint. Now it begins. Because husband didn't pay for the paint over the phone they never mixed it up. The guy behind the counter is by himself and can't do more than one order at a time or he gets confused (which is ok since he told us this outright and I'm cool with that) so I wait. He mixes lady #1 paint and then does lady #2 and then starts mine. Luckily I was watching. The machine dumped tons and I mean tons of red colorant in the tin. My house is green. I asked the guy if that was my paint. He tells me yes. I told him that I thought it was the wrong color. He stops prepping the next tin and decided to mix the first tin to see what color the paint comes out. Rust. I look at him and tell him that isn't the color of my house. He asks me if my hubby decided on a different color. No. I need green. Oh and BTW John has gone home. This is Tom and knows nothing about the order. Time to call hubby to get the mix numbers off the old paint tin. My cell doesn't work. The kid's cell doesn't work. The guy hands me his phone. I call the wrong number. The guy walks off to help another customer. I finally get hubby on the phone and get all the numbers. The guy talks to him as well. We hang up and he finally mixes up a new batch that comes out the right color. Now for the other two tins. Yeah. We finally have three tins of green paint. Off we go to the check out counter. This is where someone races me to the counter to get in front of me. Ok he only has one item. Au contraire. Turns out he has mom and dad with him who finally come hobbling over each laden down with stuff. I only have three items. I'm getting tired and the cashier wants to know if the guy wants an extended warranty for the power tool dad just plopped on the counter. My back and foot hurt cuz I've been standing on a cement floor waiting around. I could have been through the check out line before this guy got all of his junk even assembled but he had to cut me in line. I am now leaning on the crap at the check out lane hoping the display won't shift under my weight. It has now been an entire hour and we still have to go shopping. Bugger.

I'm tiring but still ok. My kid hasn't been grocery shopping with me for while and I haven't been in a week so I decide to stock up. The trip itself is pleasant enough. People do try to cut me off since I am limping and walking too slow for them but in general I'm ok and we get lots of food and supplies.

We get home and I'm dragging. I know I'm going to completely crash soon. I need to get the chicken in the marinade for dinner before I sit down cuz if I sit now I won't get up. Turns out I have to scrub the pans before I can use them. Whoever did the dishes did a crappy job cleaning the pans. The dinner is simple enough. Rice in a rice cooker, marinade chicken for grill, and green beans but now I have to do dishes before I can even start dinner. I prep everything and I'm now at my limit. I MUST lie down. I'm beyond sitting at this point. I have to lie down and not move a muscle. I plop on the couch, turn on the TV, put on the news, get the sound just right and close my eyes. I notice I keep drifting off cuz I miss the end of the weather report and miss bits and pieces of other reports. As they say in England "I'm completely fagged."

I keep checking in with the noises my husband is making trying to figure out when he has put the meat on the grill so I can start the green beans. All I hear is the paint sprayer going. Apparently I slept through the noises of him coming indoors (loud), picking up the chicken (next room) and going back outside (loud). Suddenly, out of the blue, my husband calls "Dinner". I climb off the couch and hobble into the kitchen using chairs, walls etc to hold me up. He takes one look at me and says "doesn't look like you're going to the car show with me tonight." I snapped. I was so angry. I went off on him "I just spent two hours going around stores and then I prepped dinner. How do you expect me to go out?" "Woh, woh. Don't bark at me. Go sit down." We had a quiet dinner of perfectly cooked chicken and rice and warm very crunchy green beans. He went to the car show alone. I was parked on the couch all night drifting in and out of sleep. I didn't even recover enough to take a shower later which is what I had planned. So much for going out with hubby for the evening.

So why am I angry? I can only do two maybe three things in a day. This means that typically hubby has to run errands and pick up meat for dinner. I try to go shopping once a week but I never buy meat cuz hubby decides what he wants to eat day of. Hence I can't plan food in advance. I have thrown out so much meat that I don't buy it ahead of time anymore. Since I buy only organic meats it is very expensive stuff to chuck in the garbage. Having him pick up meat, while reasonable to me, makes hubby have daily hissy fits. He HATES going out to buy meat for dinner, even if it is on his way home from his office. He HATES it and he lets me know every single day that he HATES it. I just have to suck up his anger. Me saying anything just makes things worse. Right around 4pm my anxiety level goes through the roof cuz I'm waiting for the dreaded "what's for dinner" question. I must say it is one of the more moronic dances that my husband and I do in our marriage but I haven't found a way to stop it yet.

Enough of him, back to me: hubby had asked me to accompany him to the car show, I liked the idea of getting out of the house for a change, I ended up running his errands for him, going on an unplanned shopping trip at his request and making dinner for him and then he makes that bonehead comment and doesn't understand why I lost it. Instead of getting a thank you for running his errands and making him dinner he gives me shit about being run down. Yeah. I'm angry. I'm still angry. Not sure I've figured out how to take care of it. He went on a fishing trip today. He seems to be escaping from the house a lot lately. I get left behind cuz I'm broken. Yup, I'm angry.