To add injury to insult, last Wednesday evening I stepped in a rabbit hole and twisted my ankle. One visit to the ER, regular doc and ortho doc later I'm in a stability boot and on crutches. No break or fracture just a badly sprained ankle.
I've been reading a book about life threatening illness called Close to the Bone and I highly recommend it for anyone that is seriously or chronically ill. It is about the spiritual and emotional side of being seriously ill. It is about the "dark night of the soul" or as the author refers to it the trip to Hades. I find this a wonderful metaphor for illness and has gotten me thinking on many different levels about my own illness and subsequent "accident".
"Why is this happening to me?" or "What am I supposed to be learning from this experience?" The second question is one I always ask during or after some major junction in my life. I haven't arrived at THE ANSWER to this one yet but the little things I have learned so far include:
1) I don't know how to relax
2) I don't know how to have fun
3) I like hanging out with my son
4) I like being home
5) I don't like my workplace anymore (but the work is interesting)
6) I like being alone
7) I enjoy reading and writing and watching movies
8) I love being in my swimming pool
9) One of my friends is a jackass and two others are really cool
Some people have epiphanies. This hasn't happened to me yet. Some decide to scrap their jobs and live a totally different life. Again this hasn't happened to me yet. I guess I'm somewhat happy about the way my life was. That said I'm in no rush to return to it. I like being home more. Maybe I should enter the housewife phase of my life. I'd given up the career phase long before I became ill. I'm still not out of the rabbit hole yet. I'm still exploring the warrens and tunnels. I'm still waiting for my own personal epiphany.