Sunday, January 16, 2011

Off In La La Land

I would love to write a nice long coherent post but I seem to have crashed again today.  I had some great ideas to write about while I was lying down but they have run off in the fog.  This is such a strange illness.  Two days ago I was doing well.  I dragged kid off the market to get some supplies in after our big snowstorm.  22" here in town with about one hour with no power.  The day after I needed some more meat for dinners for the next couple of days.  We went to two markets (ah maybe this was the mistake) so that I could make amazing chili and our favorite America's Test Kitchen Baked Ravioli.  I have to get the ravioli and sausage from the real Italian market the next town over.  I drove since the kid had lost his wallet.  Now I haven't driven in MONTHS.  I was so happy that I was clear headed enough to drive.  It felt weird and wonderful.  Of course I made the kid push me around the market in my wheelchair so I didn't use any of my precious energy walking up and down the aisles.  He HATES pushing me in the wheelchair.  It is the one issue that he pushes back on with my illness.  He desperately wants me to walk around the market under my own power.  He doesn't mind driving me all over the planet but he doesn't want me in the chair.  Anyway, we got the stuff.   I started to feel a little woozy on the drive home and knew I was done for the day.  I threw together the chili in the crockpot and sat down for the afternoon. 

Yesterday, we went for a little trip to the library and the health food store.  I had just received hate mail from the library for keeping several books for over two months and I desperately needed B12.  I was down to my last two pills and I was totally out of GF bread for my breakfast.  I was tired yesterday.  I didn't want to do anything but the trip to the health food store was ten or fifteen minutes tops.  It is a little store.  Smaller than most convenience stores these days.  I didn't think it would be a big deal.  I had to skip making the ravioli dinner.   Hubby wanted to go out with the guys anyway so I just ate some leftover chili.  I spent the evening on the couch watching the movies I picked up from the library.  I figured I would be fine. 

Then today.  I was tired when I woke up.  I was only up two hours when I had the overwhelming urge to sleep again so I went back to bed.  I'm not sure if I slept or not but three hours later hubby came in to find out how I was doing.  As soon as I stood up I knew I was going to be in trouble.  When I get really bad I get the shakes.  Hubby says I look like a Parkinson's patient since I loose control of my head movements as well as my hands.  I don't have fast small shakes but rather slow large adjustments of body part location.   The ringing in my ears gets wicked loud and I also get really thirsty.  So here I was sitting on the couch trying to read a book but my head was bobbing and weaving and my hand was shaking.  I ended up putting a pillow on my lap, putting the book on the pillow and then propping my head in my hand so that I was still enough to read.  Of course my comprehension left something to be desired and I kept having to read the same passage over several times for it to sink in but the book was good enough that I was willing to put up with that.

I had the shakes so bad by dinner that both my son and hubby pitched in to help with the ravioli.  They both love this dish so I didn't even have to ask for help.  Oh my, what a difference a month makes.  Dinner prep was so pleasant.  No yelling, no hissy fits.  Just everyone pitching in and helping each other cook.  It was awesome.  So here I am in a fog with the shakes, very loud buzzing in my right ear and terribly thirsty with not much to say.  Bleh....   I wonder if I'll be like this Monday when I see the Endocrinologist.  That should be interesting.  I'll have to make a list of stuff I want to ask her since hubby won't be there to help me out at the appointment.  I really want to get tested for OI/POTS. 

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