Friday, January 21, 2011

There's No Place Like Home

Today is one of my grumpy days.  I have days like this.  More often than not they start with a really bad nights sleep.  Couple that with higher than average joint aches (another storm is coming and my joints always hurt worse during bad weather) and the fact that my stomach has been upset since I ate yogurt at 2pm and a cranky teenage kid and I'm not to happy about my life right about now.

Of course seeing my therapist today probably has something to do with it also.  I'm pretty much stuffing my emotions regarding my new diagnosis. I'm trying not to think about it too much.  I don't like this one because it can't be fixed. 

Then there is the multifaceted problem of my kid moving out.  He will either be going to boot camp in June or away to college in September.  Either way he is moving out.  This will have huge ramifications on my relationship with my husband. 

My son, while cantankerous, helps out around the house and in a total role reversal has become my taxi driver.  He takes me to all my appointments.  Asking my husband to drive me anywhere is one of his hissy fit triggers.  I usually save this favor for the trips into Boston since I figure my kid will get lost trying to find his way around or get hit or both.  Boston is brutal to drive around. 

However, my asking hubby for a ride usually triggers a rant that goes on for at least 15 minutes.  He also can't hear anything I say after the rant starts.  I've proved this.  I got a date wrong and corrected myself but he was too busy being angry to hear the correction.  So I'm going to miss my kid. 

It isn't just the rides and the housework though we have become closer since I've been stuck at home.  He isn't the most verbose kid to start with so he is really difficult to get to know.  The mere fact that we are bumping around the house together has made us interact more often and we seem to like each other's company even if we don't talk that much.  I like having him around and I am going to miss him tremendously when he leaves.

So I'm sad today and a bit weepy and sore and have an icky tummy and cranky myself.  And I've eaten my way through quite a bit of ice cream.  But, as my mother says "This too shall pass."


  1. Wow. That's a lot of stress and a lot of change coming your way.

    Sometimes I wish that life would stop for me so I could just deal with the ME/CFS but unfortunately that isn't how it goes.

    I'm sorry you are having a challenging day. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. :-)

  2. It must be so difficult for you to have a home environment that is have opened my eyes today on how peaceful mine is and I need to be very grateful for that. Hope your tummy settles down, your hubby becomes mre gracious in helping you, and your grief subsides....

  3. PS what you wrote on Dominique's blog..."There is not often a happy ending where we are cured or a tragic ending where we die" resonated with me. My hubby often says, when a sick person does not get well, or die from their illness...people seem to lose interest or back away not knowing how to handle it...or not wanting to face it could be them some day. I had forgotten this and needed to hear it again in regards to my sister's lack of connection with me right now.

  4. Most of the time my house is pretty peacefull. Hubby still is struggling with my illness as well as my kid. Who can blame them? It stinks and we are all relatively new to this so I tend to overlook the occassional rant.

    My family's reaction has been mixed. My Mom is great. She has come for extended visits three times now just to keep me company and help out a little bit around the house. My sister is mixed. She was a fantastic help when she came but she is caught up in the "think happy thoughts and change your life" cult and doesn't understand why I don't join in so that I'll be cured. My brother just ignores the whole thing. I haven't heard squat from him. He did come to visit over Thanksgiving weekend but I think that was because Mum was here. So weird. We can't pick our relatives.